So what happened to the list ” 30 things before 30″?

May 4, 2022.Reading time 7 minutes.

I obviously failed x’s 1M on updating this blog daily. However, I would like to update you on how the list went before I turned 30; where it is after I turned 30 and finally what I am doing now?.

1. Travel to a different country.

I was fortunate enough to travel to Mexico with my friends before the big day and before COVID was even a thought. I’m happy I turned before 2020 that’s for sure.

2. Become more committed in my relationship. (Post 30)

In quite a weird twist of fate my relationship was not in a positive place around this time. It took COVID to bring me and my partner closer together and I’m very grateful for that time.

3. Start saving and reach 5K. (Post 30)

We as in (Me, Myself & I) did not meet this goal either, however in my early 30’s I definitely started becoming more financially savvy.

As of May 2022 I have paid off all my debts and I can say I have no car loan as it is paid in full.

4. Take a risk: Go bungee jumping or skydiving or swim with sharks.

I have not done this yet and not because I don’t intend to. I just need someone crazy enough to do it with me. “Fingers crossed we beat this goal before I have kids”

5. Invest more in the stock market.

I definitely did start before I turned 30 but it was pennies. I can happily say I have a 401K and I have over 5K in my portfolio.

Next I’m going to start investing in Indexes (shhhhh don’t tell anyone)

6. Volunteer in Newark.

I am so mad at myself for not doing this but I promise I will.

7. Stop holding grudges.

I did do this before I turned with a person I was really mad at. She was my best friend and it hurt me when she dead’d (I don’t think this is a word) me. It was worth it at the end. She focused more on herself, lost weight. She got into a long term relationship with the man that is now her fiancé and the father of her children.

8. Start a collection.

I have a collections of Beauty Products it consumes the left front corner of my room

9. Take a cross-country road trip.

Hmmm so I pseudo took a cross country trip. Me and my partner drove from South Carolina to New York. So maybe vertically and not horizontally lol.

10. Pay off your credit card debt. (Post 30)

WOOOHOOOO I did that B*tch this month

11. Go see live music you love.

I most certainly have done that before and post.

12. Thoroughly read several books.

I can’t say I’ve “READ” certain books but I have heard several books about growth and finance.

13. Overcome a fear.(Post 30)

I overcame my fear to commitment and I think that is extremely crazy. I never wanted to get married.

14. Get a tattoo.

This has not been accomplished but I intend on still getting this tattoo. I found great significance in it’s awareness.

15. Join a club.

I’ve joined investment clubs, I’m in Jets Fans Clubs, & I am also part of a geeky/nerd club

16. Treat yourself to something really expensive. (Post 30)

I’ve taken myself out and have bought expensive stuff for myself

17. Be the first person to apologize. (Post 30)

This sort of starting to happen but not fully

18. Run a half marathon.

I still want to achieve this haven’t got to it yet

19. Work on my overall ego/attitude.

This is really really tough, but I hope to change this one day

20. Cook for your whole family.

So I did make an appetizer for everyone in my family one holiday gathering

21. Eat really expensive food. (Post 30)

DONE . I’ve gone to Michelin restaurants before and after.

22. Pay it forward.

I’m doing this with my family overseas

23. Get healthy!

I need to do this I keep working on it but somehow I keep going back to drinking.

Not necessarily “ideal” when you’re trying to be healthy

24. Lose 40-50lbs.

I did this and then I gained all the weight back I’m trying to lose it again

25. Attend a game far away.

I saw the Nashville Preds vs Winnipeg in Nashville which was actually pretty cool they’re my alternate West team now. LOL

26. Pick a cause and be passionate about it.

This is something I intend to do, but I haven’t fully done it. I have started donating to charities more and donating more clothes.

27. See a new Broadway play.

I WANT TO SEE Macbeth (this is post 30)

I don’t remember if I saw a new play around the time I made this list but I’ve seen a few shows

28. Get a raise.

I did I got a raise and bonus 🙂 Several times since 30 ❤

29. Become a connoisseur in something.

This I don’t believe I’ve accomplished either I do somethings well and know somethings well but not a “connoisseur”. Maybe in my next list I’ll be a little less vague.

30. And finally, make a list of 40 Things to do Before You Turn 40.

Doing that now LOL

My Practice ☮

January 10, 2019.Reading time 3 minutes.

2 years ago I was going through an emotional roller-coaster. My personal life encountered hardships I did not expect. I started neglecting my family, I didn’t take care of myself and I was sinking into depression. Mentally, I would constantly batter myself.

Then, I made a decision to focus on my well-being. Over the years, I met and overheard so much about Yoga. The stories about how revolutionary the activity is, never sold me. If you told me 5 years ago I would be practicing Yoga today I would probably laugh in your face. But the joke was mostly on me.

The biggest mistake people make on a daily is limiting themselves.

Why do I say this? I say this because I thought my body was not capable. How could I for-see myself holding my foot on the back of my head, flexibility was an issue. I also always pictured very thin woman posing. Since I can remember I have had a big butt and a little extra meat on my bones. So I created this wrong notion that I could not do it.

My first class, I literally teared up ( I wasn’t being corny I promise). As I mentioned before I was really going through an emotional crisis.

The class was Beginner, which means it was very slow paced. Given it was my first time, every pose felt tough. All I could remember was my teacher telling us, “Just keep breathing and focus.” I did just that. 70 mins later we were in SHAVASANA (aka Corpse Pose). The instructor proceeded to read us the Rumi Poem to your right.

Now, I am not sure if it was the relief of completing the class and not fainting, this poem or both of them combined but I slightly wept in silence.

Long story short, it has become part of my life. Once you practice the lessons you take aren’t just physical but in some sense spiritual as well. Patience, forgiveness, gratitude, and not judging yourself or anyone. These are the morals of every class. I invite you to partake and stop limiting yourself.

PS: That is my favorite mat. If you are interested in my mat, please go to: https://jadeyoga.com

A #MeToo story

January 7, 2019.Reading time 5 minutes.

Today, I just finished watching the 5 Hour, Lifetime docu-series “Surviving R. Kelly”. And folks, can I just say ” W O W” !!!

Limewire

About 12 years ago I remember hanging out at a friend’s house who downloaded the R. Kelly sex tape from Limewire. Shoutout to all the 30 something year olds who remember. If any of you saw the infamous video, you clearly saw the young girl was a minor, give or take 13 to 14 years old. Looking back, I’m not sure I truly understood what I was watching.

Currently, I’m not only angered but it truly saddens me these girls/women had to endure this. I recommend everyone watches the documentary because it opens your eyes to a great injustice. We let men with incredible power get away with murder (figuratively speaking of course); although, I wouldn’t be surprised if some have.

Today’s entry started out as a reaction piece to “Surving R. Kelly”, but as I began writing my mind wanted to tell you a story. The following is based on a true story about how we let men with power manipulate and control the situation.

During the fall of 2013, a friend of mine started working at a new company. She was the Executive Assistant to the Owner of the company. Her boss was very nice and showed a lot of favoritism towards her. She thought nothing of it, to her it was because she was new and he was training her. The owner would often ask her to work Saturdays and stay late to fulfill orders. Sometimes her boss made inappropriate jokes or remarks but they were often swept under the rug.

Soon enough the new quarter started and they hired more staff. Everything seemed normal even with the semi perverted under breath jokes. A couple of month’s in, one of the ladies from the new group brought something startling to her attention. The owner tried to make a move on her. Apparently, it wasn’t his first time either; he tried before with other another former staff member.

There were rumors floating that he’d faced some accusations before and those too were swept under the rug. Another rumor was, he had a tough lawyer that cleared him of the charges. He didn’t even need to settle. The new staff member quit a couple of days later. It wasn’t like my friend trusted a lot of people at work so she stuck to herself.

One Saturday afternoon, the owner asked her to go to the storage space and help him find some products he brought back from China. He showed her several cheap marked down wallets, he needed to take some in for a meeting Monday. She grabbed five of them and he held one. He then, told her “This one is for you,” she nervously said “No, no need; thank you very much that’s very kind of you to do that but I don’t….”. Her boss came in for a kiss and she pushed him off and went back to her desk.

That was the first time in her life someone overstepped their bounds like that. She was unsure how to react and she left shortly after to her house. With only 4 months working there she was unsure how to proceed. She had no job lined up and she was stuck thinking about the sexual assault that just happened.

A month later she left that company and started working closer to her home and at a higher pay. She never told anyone about the situation for the thought of being reprimanded. After the rumors she heard she was too timid to file a lawsuit. It was very humiliating. She felt helpless and emotionally distraught for a very long time till she told some of her close ones.

And now I’m telling you …

Don’t let money overpower or silence women. There are real situations out there that can hurt and traumatize. We should not promote these men with power that use it and exploit it. We need to give everyone a voice.

Speak out and tell your story.

Happy Monday!

January 7, 2019.Reading time less than 1 minute.

Remember to start your weekend on the right foot.

Pick a cause/Pay it Forward

January 7, 2019.Reading time 2 minutes.

If you clicked the link I shared on my first post, one of the things I need to accomplish this year is picking a cause I am passionate about.

See link below. https://gentwenty.com/bucket-list-30-things-to-do-before-you-turn-30/

Here’s a little history about my debate career: In HS I didn’t get to debate but while I was in college I tried out and trained for the RU Debate Team. During that time, I was attending NJCU and due to my situation I was unable to join the team. For Rutgers it would have been too complicated to get me involved with RU Debate since I was in a different University. However, I chose to stick around and aide the Jersey Debate League as a judge. For 3 years I spent several weekdays and weekends helping out Newark debaters. I would compare it to a family you randomly visit but look forward to seeing.

Fast forward 8 years later, this weekend I went to the Newark Policy Debate Invitational and to my surprise it was EXTREMELY DIFFERENT. To the point that it the re-occurring question during the tournament was “WHAT HAPPENED TO NEWARK DEBATE?” We went from having 6-7 competitive HS policy debate teams to now 1 debate team (Newark Tech HS) showing face and competing at our own invitational.

It was quite emotional for me, why are we losing debaters especially in such a huge city. Why does NY have to come into our house and sweep our trophies?

I’m not giving up on the NDA !
(Newark Debate Academy or former Jersey Debate League)

Going back to the beginning of this post. I have picked my cause! I will come back to Newark Debate to revamp/revive/ what ever you want to call it. I will not rest till we are a force to be reckoned with. This will also be my way of “PAYING IT FORWARD.” As my former principal and now superintendent of Newark Public Schools used to say “I want you to learn and succeed here and what ever you do make sure you PAY IT FORWARD!”

A Newark Chick

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